All the wrong men.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

It is no secret that I love Chicago with all my heart. I never pass up a chance to go to a new bar or restaurant in this town {especially when there is a rooftop involved}. I don't know what it is, but wherever I go I seem to meet some pretty cheesy guys, and if they aren't cheesy, they are 20 years too young.

How about a little recap?

Exhibit A
I am at Benchmark with my friend Michelle and her friend from out of town. This very Napoleon Dynamite-ish guy comes up to us. It went a little something like this.

Napoleon - Hi girls. Can I join your conversation?
Michelle - I don't think you'd like it.
Napoleon - Are you talking about periods? Because if you're talking about periods I'm out of here.
Me - That's exactly what we're talking about.

He walks away.

Exhibit B
I'm walking the aisles of Whole Foods and a mom is walking by with her very cute little boys. One was in the way of my cart so she grabbed his hand.

The mom - I'm sorry.
Me - Don't worry about it. {pause} They're really cute.
Little boy who was maybe 6 years old - You're really cute!

I laughed and said thank you.

Exhibit C
Was at Rockit with my friend Christine. We ran in to some of her clients who were out with friends. I was talking to them, you go.

Guy - What do you do?
Me - Graphic design.
Guy - You're too pretty for that. You should be a model.
Me - Hahaha. No.
Then Christine walks back over to the table.
Guy - What do you do?
Christine - Insurance.
Guy - You're too pretty for that.
Me - So you say that to all the ladies?
Guy - No. I told you you should be a model.
Me - Hahaha. No.

What's the worst pick up line/conversation starter someone has used on you?


  1. i was in vegas for market last summer and hanging by the pool. one guy was like "so uhhh where do you live?" (creeper question number 1).

    the conversation painstakingly continued to this: "so uhhh who do you live with?"

    um my husband. get away from me you freak.

    boys are weird.

  2. oh and "so you like pina coladas?"

    no, i paid $16 for this one because i think they are nasty. idiot.

  3. I was at a bar/restaurant with my husband, and he had left to use the restroom. Some guy comes strolling over, offers to buy me a drink (even though mine was full), I politely declined. He asked me who bought the first drink, I replied "my husband." I have never seen someone leave SO fast!

  4. No lies...I was out for a friends bachloette party and I got a " Do you work at Subway?" Me- umm excuse me? Him -repeat Me- fuck no! Him - well I swear you do because you're giving me a foot-long!

    I think you could have seen the dust with how quick i turned and walked away - really dude you think that is gonna get a girl!

  5. Oh this made me laugh! So funny!!!!

  6. hey! be thankful. i go on dates and they say they had a great time and want to do it again and that they'll call but they didn't and they don't.

    and don't i should move to chicago.

    love you!

  7. Those are hilarious! I had a little boy ,maybe 4, tell me lasts weekend he loved my voice, ha!