A little color wouldn't kill me.

Saturday, April 03, 2010

First, thank you so much to all of you that commented on my latest rant. I am glad I have all of you to listen and support me. It's nice to just get all those fears and doubts out there. I know what I need to do. It's just a lot to take in.

Anyway, on to something a bit more fun. My friend Brown Girl wrote a post on being brown, and it got me thinking. Since I am on the completely opposite end of the spectrum, I thought I'd write a post on what it's like to be completely transparent white.

I have tried to embrace my pasty self, but the truth is -- I don't like my pale skin. At all. I am working on that, but at the end of the day, I cannot even throw on a pair of shorts to go to the gym. The risk of blinding people with my day glow white legs is far too high.

Everything looks better with a tan {and you know it} so please don't leave comments saying how nice paper white skin is. That would be a big lie. And listing pasty celebs doesn't help either. Aside from the fact that I will likely have less wrinkles and age spots as I age, being really really really white kind of sucks.

It's the legs. Those pasty, transparent, white as a sheet of paper legs. They kill me. And now you know why I love maxi dresses so much. I have decided that I really need some color.

Here is what I have done so far.

We all know I've spray tanned. For the most part, it was a great experience. {Until a girl named Tawni {with an i} sprayed me three times, and I looked like a dirty cave woman}. Not so fun.


Even when the tan looked great, there was all that spotting/splotching around my ankles and wrists. I looked like I had a CRAZY skin disorder after a few days of being sprayed. And the smell. I could barely stand showering with myself. And let's face it. There isn't really a way around that one. It was also pretty expensive. I would like something a bit more economical.

I tried tan towels a few years ago. I am convinced they smell like popcorn or cat pee. Not sure which, but they smell like something, and it isn't good. A few years ago, I was at the movies with J and he kept leaning over to ask me what that smell was. We were sure it was something in the theater, and tried to ignore it. Then we get in the car and he leans over and goes "it's you!!" and it was me. He thought it was hilarious. Me? Not so much.

I would really rather not smell, have splotching, or leave a tan stain everywhere I go. I haven't tried everything, but would like to declare the spring and summer of 2010 "the year of the economical tan". I would like an affordable tan this summer {please tell me that it's possible} and tanning beds are out. I would like to try to avoid skin cancer thank you very much.

So white girls, give me your best stuff. Bronzers, lotions, etc... I want to know all your tricks. I am not looking to be super tan. I would just like a little color. I'd even go for off white. But a light tan would be fabulous.

Come on. Help a girl out. Even though I looked diiiiiiirty, I was awfully happy to have some color!



  1. I do Mystic Tan (it looks better as it fades a bit!) and also Jergens Natural Glow on a regular basis. It, of course, don't do a lot of tan but at least a little color on your legs and arms.

  2. I will be watching with interest. I am also that lovely transparent color of white...and grow tired of people trying to convince me it's nice. Now that I lost weight I am on the hunt for some safe color. On one of my boards, people raved about Famous Dave's tanner as non-smelling and giving a good color...but I always have trouble with the inside of my arms...how do you make your wrists look normal???? I may try it...I will let you know. ALso may try a spray tan. If it works...I will pay...but the smell makes me ill too and if it stays with you...not good...

    Obviously this is a sore subject with me too...only the pale girls really get it...


  3. My best friend loves her Jergen's Natural Glow. But you basically have to use it every night all summer long. The good thing is it's just like putting on lotion... not a typical self tanner that turns your hands orange. I haven't tried it.. just cuz I personally don't care about tanning...but she loves it.

  4. Well Jergens Natural Glow is pretty good, and easy to use, however i tend to get tired of putting it on every night. The lazy me kicks in and just want to hop in bed, not stop to put lotion on! :)

  5. Oh girl do I feel ya! I am rather white myself, and after living at the beach for 3 years discovered that that nice bronze color comes with a bit of price-wrinkles! I use Dove's gradual tan. It doesn't smell and it covers like normal lotion. It takes a while to build up, but I like it because you have color over the white, instead of a deep orange. It's subtle but still effective. Try it! I also used to use Clarins Self Tanning and loved it, try that too!

  6. Oh, I feel for you! I'm not only transparent, but I take on this purpley hue that just isn't cute. No matter how you look at it. And I agree. The legs are the worst!

    I tried Versa tan (similar to Mystic) last summer, but I had a hard time with all my joints looking so orange! Plus, it was super super hot the week I had it done, and I was sweating, and you could see sweat streaks. Lemme just tell ya something. That IS NOT CUTE.

    I've tried some of the gradual tanners, like Jergens, and they seem to be the most "natural". Also, when I've tried other self-tanners, I mix in some regular lotion, so it goes on more evenly.

    Good luck! Let us know if you find something fabulous and economical!

  7. Well damn, I'll have to say you do look pretty hot with a tan. Haha! I'm so glad I don't have to tan! Like I said, everything looks better with a tan. Just not my ass in white pants.


  8. I love St. Tropez. They have a website, with videos that show you how to apply. I have been using it since I lived in the UK..it is HUGE there. I swear by it. I tried VersaSpa and it was ok. I just didn't have the time to go. 2x per week I put on the St. Tropez after my shower sleep with it on (it does make your sheets color a bit, but washes out)They also have perfect legs which is a gradual tanner and a bronzer for instant natural color. I use it and love it. Check it out...

  9. Jergen's is one of the best. Believe me, I'm so white I glow in the dark! I agree, it does get to be a pain to put on every night, but it isn't as expensive as the trips to the sprayer and you don't come out looking dirty :)

  10. I used to fake & bake before going on vacation to get a base tan but there's something really icky about laying in your own sweat that's not right and down right gross.

    I've never done the spray tan thing but my sister did before her wedding and had similar results...she did not like the splotchy, 'dirty' look she had.

    I've heard great things about the lotions the girls are talking about...Jergen's. I haven't tried it. I should. Even though I am one of those girls who get a nice tan in the summer, I do not enjoy laying out in the hot sun anymore. And, besides, I'm trying to keep my skin looking young & supple now that I'm approaching my mid-30s. ;)

    One a completely different note, if you are looking for a good sunscreen, I totally swear by the sunscreen lotion made by Alba Organics. I'm the girl who breaks out in what looks like a heat rash after using sunblock and stuff (clogged pores, I'm assuming) and the stuff by Alba is great. I even get a teency, weency bit of a tan when I use it, too. So, I still get a little color but I'm not burned nor am I itchy & bumpy. ;)

    Good luck, D.

  11. Funny pic! I used Neutrogena tanning lotion for years and years and then had a hard time finding it. So, when I can't find it, I use Jergens.

  12. You should try Tan Towel's spray...I didn't feel like it smelled awful after the first day or so and a $20 bottle lasts me more than a month!