Stating the obvious is fun.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I am co-writing this with my sister Jessica {on my new laptop!!}.

Our mom has been dating a guy for the past few years. We'll call him "Joe". "Joe" is a nice guy. He really is. He is nice to all of us, and treats my mom very well. But on occasion almost every single day, he astounds us with his ability to state the obvious & ask the most ridiculous of questions. We often have no choice but to reply with creative responses. It livens things up a little. And we're all about bringing a little life in to the most dull of situations.

I'd like to start by letting you know that my mom does not have an interest in reading either of our blogs, and even if she did, we joke about this all the time.

Here we go.

Scenario #1 {Jessica's favorite}
Let's start with Thanksgiving morning, 2008. We woke up early to bake our first pie. "Joe" walks in to the kitchen {it was about 8:30 am}. The conversation went as follows...

"Joe": Oh. Are you awake?
Jessica: No, we're zombies.

Scenario #2
At some point over the last year, I was standing outside with the pup. It had just started to rain, and Joe pulled up. He gets out of the car, and is just standing there.

"Joe": It's raining.
Me: I just stood there with a completely blank expression on my face. What do you say to that one?

Scenario #3 {my favorite!}
At my mom's birthday dinner last week, I was showing Jessica some video footage of the kitties on my iPhone while we were at the restaurant. I know. So rude. "Joe" sees that we're watching a movie.

"Joe": Is that live?
Me: Yes. The cats are on the table.

I couldn't resist.

Apparently, he assumed I set up a nanny cam in my room so I could watch my cats on my phone. Really?! Maybe that's not so much of a stretch for me. I am a little neurotic, and I do love my cats.

Scenario #4
A few years ago, my mom and "Joe" rescued their dog, Sophie. She is sort of scruffly {I know that isn't a word, but it feels friendlier than scruffy since she is a lady}. Anyway, "Joe" constantly refers to Sophie as a he. I'm talking all the time. He also always refers to Dexter as a she. It's really not that hard.

Scenario #5
At a family dinner {I never go to these}, Jessica witnessed the following:
"Joe": Laptops are outselling PCs.

Maybe he meant that Macs are outselling PCs {which isn't true} or maybe he meant that laptops are outselling desktops.

Scenario #6
We are sitting in the kitchen with my mom, eating sushi. I don't actually eat fish, so I was enjoying some delicious vegetable tempura rolls. Anyway...Joe walks in.

"Joe": Are you eating dinner this late?
Me: No, we ate two hours ago. {said as we all continue eating}.

I couldn't help myself. Can you blame me? Anyway, he's used to it, everyone seems to enjoy our sassy responses.

Scenario #7
"Joe" walks in to the kitchen to find Shelby there by herself.

"Joe": Hello, everyone.
Shelby: Are you calling me fat?

And don't even get us started on the incessant chatter.

I hope this doesn't seem mean. We will tease my mom about these things and even she laughs. Like I said, "Joe" is a nice guy. And we joke around with "Joe" too. He just tends to ask really ridiculous questions and has a knack for stating the obvious. And walking around rambling to himself. Or anyone within earshot.

You Might Also Like

11 comments

  1. lol, sounds like my mom. She's always doing this sort of stuff & my husband always gives her sh*t for it. I think it's hilarious but I'm sure some think he's just being rude.

    It's all in good fun & you two are hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lol! Well as long as your mom is happy and he treats her right.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh my gosh, Danielle! I am laughing so hard that I have tears rolling down my face right now. You have told me some of "Joe's" stories before; I'm glad you can at least get some entertainment out of it with your witty and creative responses.

    My questions are-
    a) What does "Joe" do when you respond with your cleverness?
    b) Does your mom find your responses entertaining? Does she respond as creatively as you and Shelby do?

    Thanks for the laugh! Miss ya, friend!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You make me laugh! I'm always sarcastic when I get asked the obvious. Some people get it. Some people don't...

    ReplyDelete
  5. this post is absolutely hilarious... even tho I have heard these stories so many times ;)

    PS Im thinking about getting the new Pro too!! Do you like it?!?!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Like I said -- he's a nice guy and does treat my mom well! Even my mom comments about the ridiculous questions and statements.

    It's sort of a family joke now. He doesn't really do anything. Sometimes he laughs. But he thinks we're funny. We definitely don't answer in a mean way. Just a funny/sarcastic way.

    It's all in good fun!

    ReplyDelete
  7. these are funny, danielle. my favorites are #1 and 7, hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  8. haha that is hilarious.... that is how my sister is, but i love her anyway!

    ReplyDelete
  9. This is hilarious. My friend's mom's ex-boyfriend was equally as awkward..and my friend and I would always have witty remarks to remind him that the things he would say were often a little off.

    I found your blog by way of Peeptoe Jill, and I'm pretty sure I want to summon you to create a new blog design for me but I have a few problems, (1) I have ZERO idea what direction I'd like to go and (2) it was kind of an impulse decision, so how long is the waiting list?

    ReplyDelete